Sometimes the Real Blocker Is What’s Happening Inside of Us
John 15:5 (NLT)
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”
Jesus used parables often because He wanted people to understand spiritual truth in a way that could be seen and felt. In John 15, He compares Himself to a vine and us to branches because branches were never created to survive disconnected from their source. After separation from the tree, a branch may still appear alive for a season, but eventually the life within it starts fading because what once fed it is no longer flowing into it.
That is exactly what happens when people attempt to live apart from Christ. We were never designed to function independently from Him. Jesus is not meant to be an occasional part of our lives that we turn to only during emergencies or heartbreak. He is our Source—our everything! He strengthens us, corrects us, feeds our spirit, renews our mind, and keeps our soul anchored when life becomes overwhelming.
Colossians 2:6-7 (NLT) says, “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”
If there is one thing I would say to single women, it is this: no human being can take the place of your relationship with Jesus Christ. We say we know this, but our actions sometimes tell a different story. A relationship may comfort loneliness for a season, but it cannot heal a soul that has not learned how to stay close to our Heavenly Father. I have heard many women say they cannot live without a man, but often the deeper issue is that they have not yet discovered the fullness, healing, and security that comes from intimacy with Christ.
When Jesus said, “apart from me, you can do nothing,” He was making something very clear. Life separated from Him will never fully satisfy no matter how good it looks outwardly. No relationship, no career, no amount of money, attention, or success can replace what only Jesus Christ was meant to be in our lives. And honestly, a lot of us do not realize how much we look for fulfillment in people. But we’re still carrying that emptiness inwardly because we have not fully learned how to remain close in our relationship with Him first.
What Else Do We Need to Know?
Psalm 1:1-3 (NLT) says, “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.”
If you are still single and desire marriage, you need to know there’s nothing wrong with that desire. But sometimes we have to step back and honestly ask ourselves what has become the center of our focus. How much time do we spend seeking God compared to how much emotional energy we spend thinking about relationships, longing for companionship, or wanting someone to fill spaces in us that only Christ truly can? Because if delighting in another person matters more to us than delighting in God, that reveals something about where our heart is right now. And the truth is, if God blessed some of us with a relationship today, we would enter it still looking for that person to be our everything. There is order to everything in the Kingdom. Desire is not the issue. Priority is.
Is God truly first in your life?
Change the Way You Think About It
God’s system is flawless. He knows how to reward us perfectly, and His plans for us are unquestionably good. He is not trying to keep His children from love, joy, growth, or fulfillment. Nor does He take pleasure in watching us emotionally drained, spiritually distant, or constantly chasing things outside of His order. He wants us to wake up and recognize who He is and what He’s already done for us in Christ.
Hosea 14:9 (NLT) says, “Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.” At some point, we have to honestly ask ourselves if we truly trust God’s way over our own emotions, desires, and impulses. Because the words we speak, the relationships we entertain, and the choices we keep making eventually reveal what is leading us inwardly.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to change the way you think about your desire, God’s blessings, and His timing. Many of us were never taught to question our own motives deeply. We notice everybody else’s issues while ignoring the unhealthy patterns, emotional wounds, and wrong thinking inside of ourselves. Sometimes this is the very thing blocking the growth, healing, or relationship we keep praying for. But thank God there is still grace for change. When a person becomes willing to be honest, surrender their own way, and allow God to transform them inwardly, like a branch attached securely to a tree, we begin to enjoy a fruitfulness in life that fulfills us and pleases God.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Jesus Christ Wants All of You”, written by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.