An actor was being interviewed and jokingly asked if the host had a single family member or friend that she could meet. “You know I’m single.” She said. The host responded, “Every time you’ve been on our show, you’re always single, what gives?” It doesn’t matter if you’re a beautiful Hollywood actor, a professional, or a single mother trying to get back out there and juggle all the other responsibilities of life, the dating arena can be challenging to navigate. We’re all so different, and so are our needs, but the complexities of meeting someone that isn’t married and is actually looking for something meaningful seems almost too much to tackle. People are constantly saying that the special person for us is out there, but if that’s true, where are they hiding and why is it so difficult to find them?

Meeting the right person for our lives is a process of self-discovery. That sounds like a pitch right out of some guide to meeting your soul-mate, but as cheesy as it may sound, it’s true. The foundation of the process of self-discovery is first recognizing the truth about what ‘self’ means. Self-identity is Christ identity. People spend their whole lives trying to discover who they are, when God took care of that through Jesus Christ. Everything we need to know about who God created us to be can be found in Christ.

If you give it some thought, you’ll see that if we’re not quite sure who God created us to be or what we’re supposed to be doing on this earth, then there’s probably a big question mark branded on our foreheads. We can’t see it, but it’s there, and it shouldn’t be hard for us to understand that no one wants to get to know a question mark. People are looking for something real. A question mark suggests all the issues associated with not really knowing who you are—issues like poor judgment, lack of confidence, and an inability to truly and deeply be loyal and committed. As sisters in the Lord, we wouldn’t want someone like this as a marital partner, so we must make sure there’s no trace of it in us.

There isn’t anything about us that God doesn’t know. Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us that before He made the world, He already loved us and chose us to be His very own. God wants us to be holy because He is holy. Holiness envelopes the bond of unity we share with Him. Our Heavenly Father tailor made us to fit into His wonderful plan. For a long time, before we knew Christ, we didn’t know about God’s plan or how we fit into it. We were lost—just didn’t have a clue who we were supposed to be, but God’s love began to unfold in our lives when we accepted Christ. The problem is that many of us stopped short. We haven’t allowed God’s blueprint to spread out, so we can study the full view. Instead, we got just a glimpse and started to run with our assumptions. So, for many single and unmarried individuals, self-discovery has not come to full maturity. God is telling them that there’s still more they need to learn about Jesus Christ before they can partner successfully.

Thousands of years ago, God knew that there would be a multitude of single women praying to Him for a good man. Even back then He considered the challenges for our modern times. We have to remember that He knows the end at the very beginning. You can be confident that He knows all the details of how you will finally meet the man that you’ve prayed for. And make no mistake, He also knows what it will take for you to get in position for this blessing as well.

God is an Excellent Giver. He doesn’t give gifts to those that are not ready to receive them or who lack the ability and well of gratitude to steward and be thankful for them. Heavenly Father is perfect in every way. The special person for us isn’t hiding. They are preparing, just as we should be. God has made sure there are enough spouses for those seeking to honor the institution of marriage. Not every man can be a husband, just as not every woman can be a wife. It takes a humble, forgiving, loving and committed human being to be truly ready to partner with another human being in marriage. Dating is easy, but marriage requires stability and truth.

Joshua 1:8(NLT) tells us, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” God wants His children to be fulfilled, happy and successful, and He’s left it up to us to make it happen for ourselves through His Word. He tells us in Romans 6:13(NLT), “Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.” This is God’s requirement. He wants us to be married and partnered up more than we desire it for ourselves. Keeping His Word is paramount to our success.

As we study God’s Word, we can see that He never overlooks a promise. He is faithful to keep His Word. He has promised to bless us, but He is also committed to see us fulfill our purpose. He is committed to see us capture our destinies according to His Will and Plan. As unmarried people, we have to go to Heavenly Father with a deeply humbled heart and do so in the most earnest way that we know. We must ask Him what more we need to do in order to fit into His plan. We must ask Him what part of our old man nature we need to take off, so we can walk more fully in Christ. Then, we must wait on God as He unveils the answers to these questions. God knows you are single, and He will take care of every detail regarding meeting your destiny partner but seeking Him must remain your primary motivation and you must be committed to follow His guidance. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Know I’m Single…”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.