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People in relationships can sometimes grow apart. This is a reality that any person seeking to partner should acknowledge. I’ve heard stories about couples that have been married 25 years, and suddenly, one of them comes home from work only to find that the other partner has vamoosed. Just decided he or she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore and left. You’d think that a person you’ve been with 25 years would have the decency to say, “We’re having problems, and I’m not happy. Can we find a way to work this out.” At the very least, you’d expect them to not leave you high and dry, with emotional heartache and financial obligations you’re not prepared for, but they behaved like you were someone they didn’t even know. This is the kind of situation that God would like to help us prevent.
Proverbs 27:19(NLT) gives us a piece of wisdom that is foundational for good decision making. It states, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” You and I can’t see what is in another person’s heart. We have to deal with the reality that sometimes people show us what they want us to see, and what they want us to see isn’t who they really are. We walk around thinking we know their hearts, when actually we have no idea.
We hear from well-meaning people, “the heart wants what the heart wants.” Many people use this as permission to emotionally invest themselves completely in a relationship without seeking Godly counsel and without receiving that all important green light from Heavenly Father. As women, we sometimes think that just because a man causes us to feel the fluttering of butterflies in our tummies that he’s the one. Choosing a life partner involves so much more than this.
The heart is a very deep place. It is the innermost part of our being. Proverbs 4:23(NLT) tells us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” To guard is to watch what comes in, and to watch what goes out. Many of us don’t become seasoned ‘watchers’ until we’ve gained spiritual maturity. This is when we’re able to recognize we have some things in our hearts that require some work. And yes, this work needs to be done before we take the leap into relationships or marriage. The heart determines the direction of our lives. If we don’t do some housekeeping, we might not recognize when the wrong stuff is in our hearts and is attracting someone that seems right but isn’t right for us.
We can’t always let our hearts lead the way, and when it comes to major decisions in life, we should never do this. Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT) tells us, “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Our Heavenly Father knows what is in our destiny. Romans 8:29 tells us that He knew us even before we were formed in our mother’s womb. He predestined us to be shaped in the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. We’re here on this earth to serve the purpose of His Will and Plan. He knows what we should be doing and how we should be doing it.
Heavenly Father wants us to choose a life-partner that will be a partner for life. He knows the person that is going to help us stay on the path of our destiny. It’s someone that we will help to stand in Christ as well. If we put God first in our relationships, the Lord Jesus Christ will help establish and preserve them. So, let’s make sure to hear from God when it comes to making a full emotional investment in a person we think is right. Heavenly Father knows what is best, and if we’re patient and continue to trust Him, He will provide leadership and guidance in this area of our lives. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“You Can’t Always Let Your Heart Lead the Way” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
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