Some people are of the mindset that if you truly love each other in a marriage, then you won’t walk out of it so easily; if you give up on the marriage, then it wasn’t real love in the first place. This is a harsh judgment, but it is reasonable in one respect; because it conveys an understanding that real love is God’s love. His love is unbreakable, unconditional, and limitless. God is capable of a love this strong, but many of us haven’t put on His Word in our hearts and minds enough to walk in His love fully. We struggle with resentment that comes from hurt feelings when we are offended by others or undervalued by them. Our relationships break apart when the unions can’t hold up under the constant pressure of unfulfilled expectations and misplaced faith.
We can never be blasé about the covenant of marriage or about the possibility it holds for us personally. It is a union ordained by God, and Jesus Christ must be at the center of it. Because of this, we should also be well aware that the enemy will seek to come against our unions, and it will require our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to persevere. 2Corinithians 4:7 gives us the context for understanding what’s at stake and what we’re working with. It tells us that we’re like fragile clay jars. We have baggage of our own, and we have baggage that we’ve inherited from others close to us. A lot of us bring this into our relationships. One of the best things we can do is recognize we have a few issues. Then, to the extent that we can, we should be honest with ourselves and our partners about this baggage. We should ask for the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and we should also lovingly ask for our partner’s forgiveness and patience as we work through it.
God also makes it very clear in this verse that our clay jars, although fragile, contain a great treasure. It’s the great power of the Holy Spirit. We are born into this world with an assignment, and only the Spirit of Christ can lead us through it. Marriage is one of the institutions that helps us to learn and do what we were born to learn and do. Many of us give up on marriage before our lessons are learned. We must remember that we are becoming the person God destined us to be. We’re not quite there yet. So, on our own, we don’t have the strength, power, and love to make it through a marriage. We must depend on the treasure of the Holy Spirit to help and lead us through the complications we may face.
2Corinithians 4:8-9(NLT) says, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” Heavenly Father didn’t keep the struggles of life a secret. Sometimes it feels like four walls are closing in on us. There’s trouble everywhere we turn, but we will not be crushed if we turn to Him in faith. I’ve heard it said that you don’t really have real love if you’re not willing to be vulnerable enough to allow another person to hurt you. The love of God in Christ is the only love strong enough to eradicate fear and hold up under the pressure of hurt feelings and wounded hearts. When Jesus Christ is the center of our existence, we can endure the hardships of relationships because he is allowed to work through us and our partners through the Holy Spirit. This repairs the damage, restores us, and keeps us in God’s Will.
It’s a no-no to begin a marriage or relationship by trying to make the other person your everything. They can’t meet those expectations, and neither can we. Our desire should always be to let our partners see the love of Christ at work in our lives, and to pray that God will work in our partner’s life as well. Through the Spirit, together, a couple can be strengthened continually as they both center themselves in Christ. They must recognize that God’s purpose is at work in their lives and pleasing Him is what matters most.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“This Is A No-No!” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.