The rules of dating in a way that leads to marriage are not exactly outlined in the Bible in a step-by-step format. In fact, some have complained that not much about dating is specifically covered in God’s Word. This is because God never intended that dating should be the ‘thing’ that the world has made it out to be. With all our modern conveniences and intellectual advancements, it should be no surprise to any of us that most people view the standards of God’s Word relating to marriage and dating as antiquated. Personally, I’ve been told many times that I’m ridiculous for espousing abstinence, even though this is what God says in His Word. We’re at a place where denying God’s Word is so rampant that many are blinded to His guidance about dating. Their hearts are set on following their own way instead of following His way, and this tactic will not yield success.
In Old Testament times, the people of Israel asked Samuel, God’s prophet, to petition God on their behalf. They no longer wanted to be under the Lord’s sovereignty. There is no one like God. He is majestic beyond majesty, brilliant beyond brilliance, and perfect beyond perfection. He is King! He chose the Israelites to be His people, and He desired them to honor His absolute sovereignty so they could remain under the covering of His protection and care. They decided they no longer wanted this but instead wanted a human king like all the other nations. They didn’t want to be set apart for God but wanted to be like everyone else. This is a humongous issue in the lives of believers today. Many of us no longer want to be set apart as God’s holy people. We want to follow the world and live outside God’s statutes and standards.
It’s hard to imagine why anyone who witnessed the kind of miracles and wonders that God performed for the people of Israel would want to remove themselves from His sovereignty, but this is what they wanted and chose to do. They paid a very heavy price for this decision, and so will we if we choose to ignore God’s Will.
God granted their petition, even though it was a blatant denial of Him and His sovereignty. He appointed Saul as their first king, but Saul messed everything up. He became arrogant with his rank and position as king, and disobeyed God’s directions and instructions. God then sent Samuel on a mission to anoint the next king. Left to his own devices, Samuel would have appointed someone that looked the part but didn’t have the heart God was looking for. When he tried to do this, God told Samuel in 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
God looks at the heart, and He knows our hearts through and through. He knows when our hearts are valuing His Word, and He knows when our hearts are motivated out of a predominant desire to please Him. This is a person that can be guided by God’s Spirit. They have a heart that is loyal toward Him. He said in 2Chronicles 16:9 that He searches throughout the entire earth, looking for those that are fully committed and loyal to Him, so He can show Himself strong on their behalf.
The rules of dating are simple; be obedient to God’s Word. He specifically looks for people who love and honor Him with their whole hearts, particularly when it comes to dating, because too many of us are abandoning God’s standards. When He finds people that have placed their faith in Him alone, He opens their eyes to His strength, and they see His wonders in their lives. He longs to do this for all His kids, because He loves us so much, but we must desire to please God wholeheartedly. The goal is not to please ourselves, but to please Him, and pleasing Him positions us to receive His rewards.
In the Old Testament, God told His people repeatedly that if they would obey His commands and abide by His statutes, He would bless them and caused them to be prosperous and live long lives. In Leviticus 26:13(NLT), God told them, “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high.” They were a stubborn people, and like many of us, they were intent to follow their own way, and that way led them to destruction. In Leviticus 26:13, our Heavenly Father had to remind them of who He is, and again, there are many records in the Old Testament where He had to do this time and time again.
God had to remind them that He doesn’t change. He’s the God that delivered the Israelites from the tyranny of Egyptian slavery. He parted the Red Sea for their escape, fed them manna from Heaven, and in the desert, He made water burst forth from rocks for them to drink. He’s the same God that sent His Son to die as a sacrifice for our sins over two thousand years ago so that we would be saved from the slavery of sin and death. No, God has not changed, and His Word hasn’t changed. His standards are holy and righteous, and to show our hearts loyal to Him, we must obey them.
The world is increasingly becoming a place where true disciples and followers of Christ stand out more and more, because so few of us are actually adhering to God’s standard. Our Heavenly Father has set us apart as His children of light. Dating can’t be a carve-out where His standards do not apply. His goal and desire are that we are blessed, happy, fulfilled, and married if we desire it. He’s given us His Word because it is life to us. It equips us for a thriving life in Christ, and by this we can know that He blesses His Word. Anyone that follows it will be rewarded. Companionship is one of those rewards, but we must never get ahead of God and let sin take us out of the race. He will send the right person for our lives, and until He does, we’d be wise not to allow dating to cancel or delay the blessing of a marriage that is founded on the unity and love of Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Rules of Dating”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!