When I was in my early twenties, I went out on a date with an officer in the military. He was very handsome, articulate, and tough as nails. We had gone out on a few dates, but one of them sticks out in my mind very vividly. We were out when we bumped into a couple that were friends of mine. I introduced them of course, and we talked a few minutes. They went on their way and a little while later, my date asked me how I knew them. I told him that we had met at a Christian retreat for singles. They ended up getting married a year later. I told him that I admired their commitment to God’s standards while dating. Both were very open and candid about their vow of celibacy during their courtship. After telling him this, my date then opened up a little bit more about his home life. He said that he wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and even as an adult, he struggled with believing in God. He said it was hard for him to understand how others could believe so strongly in a God they can’t see.

When I reflect on memories like these, I endeavor to remind myself of the lessons I learned. I think we should all do this, especially if we are believing to cross paths with our soon-to-be spouses. God tells us to renew our minds, and we can’t afford to underestimate the importance of this spiritual practice. The mind can easily revert to what its use to—to those old habit and thought patterns we had before we knew the way of Christ. The mind will do this if we are not actively renewing our thoughts to the mind of Christ. When you’re serious about accomplishing a goal, and you’re all in when it comes to getting to the finish line, you won’t be deterred. You’re praying that God will lead, guide, and direct you towards the manifestation of His promise. During this process, God will often remind of you of something that happened in the past, so you can be attentive to armor up, renew your mind, and not let old habits creep back in.

Like so many other young women, I prayed that the Lord would allow me to cross paths with a man that was loving, kind, compassionate, honorable, and saved. He didn’t have to be what others consider gorgeous, but I wanted him to be pleasing to the eyes and to have a kind of energy that really resonates with my heart. It never dawned on me that the fulfillment of this prayer request would be a process that required my spiritual growth, that I would need to walk through it with diligence and patience. I didn’t consider the possibility that I might need to be spiritually prepared according to God’s Will and Plan for my life. So, I didn’t give dating too much forethought. I had a philosophy of ‘try it out and see’. Even if the guy didn’t know the Lord, I just automatically presumed that it could still be something the Lord might work with.

Spiritual maturity has taught me that the times are too urgent, and people are too dark and self-absorbed for us to take any chances with our spiritual walk. Proverbs 4:27(NLT) tells us, “Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” God teaches us not to turn to the left or to the right, but to keep our eyes stayed on Him so that we don’t get sidetracked. If we do in fact get sidetracked, we could take several steps backward or miss the mark altogether when it comes to the blessings we desire most. It’s a tremendously wise strategy to be careful and cautious. It’s the guidance God gives us so we can stay on the path and receive what He has in store.

So often we miss this. Heavenly Father tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge and indeed they reject the very knowledge about Him that will keep them safe, blessed, and prosperous. Being in a relationship outside of marriage can present many challenges. It’s so important to have a strong and made-up mind about knowing how and when to say no if ever you’re in a situation that’s remotely tempting. Why? Because once we pray to receive the blessing of the right person, Heavenly Father begins to help us, and we shouldn’t question this for one second. Our response to Him should be to do whatever we can to partner with His efforts and not go against them.

1Thessalonians 4:3-6(NLT) tells us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” Somehow, we have erroneously believed that our sin does not impede our efforts to move towards our goals, but it does. When we ask Him, God forgives us for all sin, but He does not eradicate the consequences of our sin. Sin requires a price, and the devil will make sure we pay it with the things we desire and hold dear.

Let’s be smart about the choices we make and learn to perceive God’s directions, so we stay on the right track to the blessing of marriage. Don’t be tricked and think you have time to waste on anyone that is not going to advance you towards God’s Will and Plan for your life. Use your time wisely. Know that studying God’s Word, praying and meditating on His goodness, and growing in the Spirit is helping you in every way. It will pay off with the greatest treasure possible if you remain steadfast and stay the course. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!