As human beings, we crave love, and whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most would do almost anything to have it. Many people today are still searching for that special someone, and they hope this person will shower them with the love they’ve always wanted. It’s no secret that there are disproportionately more single women that are desiring a relationship with a man that has qualities comparable to their own. They hope this will ultimately lead to marriage, and they’d like to be in a relationship with this person as soon as possible. Most single believers desiring marriage recognize that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to make this a reality. Every step that a person takes towards increasing their faith can be impactful to their success, and this is one of the reasons it’s so important to be led by the Spirit in your quest.
The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” From the very beginning of our lives, as infants, we are comforted and become established in the unconditional love from our parents. Knowing that our parents or guardians will always care for us and will never walk away from us should establish the first foundation of love in our hearts. For many, this expectation of love, care, and support is rooted in us from infancy, but as we grow, our expectations for and about love should change. As children, our parents were our lords—they were supposed to be our everything. But as Paul tells us in God’s Word, when we mature and develop into adults, it is necessary for us to let go of childish things.
We are not perfect, and neither are our parents. Sometimes the foundation that gets established in us doesn’t help us build faith, but in some areas work against our faith. We grow up holding on to and nurturing the immature things in our personhood. Some generational stuff gets passed on, and we may have insecurities and fears that we’ve not confronted or owned. These immature tendencies block us from developing mature faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is crucial to handle this business of removing the blockers, and to do it before we’re in the most significant relationship of our lives. The reason being is that the person we marry will be the individual we minister to most. They will be most impacted by our spiritual walk in Christ, and if we are not prepared to help them in the way that God has purposed, we’ve got a problem.
Discovering God’s love for us can transform anything. It’s the most transformative truth there is and will ever be. God has given us a firsthand demonstration through Christ that love is about what you do and has very little to do with what you say. Our loving Lord and Savior paid the ultimate price for us because of his overwhelming love. He sacrificed his life as payment for our sins and said in John 15:13(NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we accept the love of Christ in our hearts, we then must love as he loves, share as he shares, and give as he gives. This is the least we can do for all that he has done for us.
1 John 3:16(MSG) says, “ This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” We must understand that sacrifice is necessary in love; Jesus Christ has showed us this, and it is the aspect of love that many people refuse to see. Meeting the person we will marry can’t be a desire born out of selfishness or self-agendas. If it is, the relationship can’t stand because we haven’t built a foundation strong enough to hold it. When a relationship is built on the solid foundation of Christ, it will last. This means that we come to the relationship with our future spouses with a measure of spiritual maturity that God has stamped “READY!”
Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” God’s purpose is the priority. It prevails and succeeds. God has a purpose for our marital unions, and within His purpose and plan is an expectation that He can make strong and fortify our future spouses through us. He will bless them through us. This should inspire within you and me a deep and abiding desire to do everything within our being to be a blessing according to the purpose that GOD has ordained. We must pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead us in this direction and keep us on this path. Being committed to God’s purpose for our unions should also cause us to understand how important it is that we grow in Christ, so that we will not be weaponized by the enemy to injure or hinder our spouse’s relationship with God through Christ.
Right now, we don’t yet know all the ways in which we’re missing the mark in the love of God in Christ, but God knows. He knows our every weakness, and He sees the problems and situations in our futures that we are not yet spiritually mature enough to handle. The psalmist prayed in Psalm 27:10-11(NLT), “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.” This must be our constant prayer. You have an enemy that seeks to keep you separated from our future spouse, but God will teach you how to live and keep your union strong. He will show you how to love so that you fulfill the plan He has for you and your spouse. Be patient, and let the Spirit lead you along this right path. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Show Me How to Love”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.