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Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago, but today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes, and it’s “ride-or-die.” It defines a sista that I happen to know personally to the tee. There are no other words in the English vocabulary that would do justice to her level of allegiance when it comes to her relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the man for her.

As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind and a notorious intolerance for non-sense.  It’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion.

Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for her world is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe. When it is inconvenient, it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything on our hearts before Him. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Whatever the reason for our expectations not being met, we need not have fear, but trust in the power of God to set our feet on the right course.

1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward she must. Robert knows what caliber of woman she is. Mia’s proven herself to be loving, committed, respectful, and tremendously resourceful. What deserving man wouldn’t be choppin’ at the bits to call someone like her ‘wifey’?  I’m sure that when the dust settles and the swelling goes down, she may be able to reach this conclusion herself. If she does, it’s a sure sign that she’s ready to release the fear and reach out to grab the love of the man God has in store for her.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“’Ring’ In the New Year?”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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