Many of us partition off our lives into sections. We categorize them in terms of the areas where we want God’s involvement and the areas where we do not. When it comes to relationships with men, many of us tell Heavenly Father, “I got this.” We proceed along the routes that feel organic or comfortable to us. But since we haven’t put out the welcome mat to God’s intervention, many sisters have endured their share of disappointments around dating the ‘wrong fit’.  Then, when we meet someone who checks off some of the criteria of a ‘good fit’, many of us get our hopes up prematurely. It’s not like we’re brand new to this thing, but the emotional fall-out from disappointment can cause us to not only lax our standards a bit, but to leave a crack for desperation to sneak in. This is when we will do things like beg a man for his time.

With the pervasiveness of social media and new technologies, sisters can be clever about doing this. They can beg a man for his time in ways that doesn’t necessarily look like a desperate move on their behalf. But the idea that a sister is okay with someone not chomping at the bits to be in her company, as much as she may be to be in his, should be a pause for concern.

There are key characteristics to loving ourselves in a way that pleases and honors God. It never includes arrogance, and a lot of us have some fuzziness around this. We sometimes think having the manicure, pedicure, hair and make-up game tight is all it takes. But that’s external stuff. Making the outside look good is secondary to making sure our hearts are spiritually where they need to be. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 12:35(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” The action word in this verse is “produces!” You and I are in the production business, and the seed of our investment comes from our hearts. If we’re putting a bad seed out there, the harvest will be disappointing.

When it comes to focusing too much on the external, there’s sometimes too much “ME” love and not enough “GOD” love. This will manifest itself in all kinds of ways, and one of them is to try to force a square peg in a round hole. It’s trying to get someone to respond to us when they are not supposed to. The Words of our God in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT) must be firmly etched in our consciousness, for they are foundational to our faith. In this verse God said, “For I know the plans I have for you,…They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Heavenly Father is in charge of the plan, not us; and they are plans for our good in every way.

Not even the smallest, tiniest, most insignificant detail about our existences escapes the Father. He knows each us intimately. Acts 17:26 (NKJV) tells us, “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings.” Heavenly Father appointed the times of our births, He appointed even the place where we would be born. He would not leave the detail of our marital unions and relationships out of His care. He wants us ending up with a person who helps us reach our highest spiritual height in Christ. He desires us to be with a partner that is in our destiny.

Galatians 5:1(MSG) tells us, “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” As believers, walking in liberty is trademark! Begging, no matter how we want to frame it, is desperation; it’s bondage. Begging a man for his time will make us a slave to his clock, and that’s beneath our privilege as God’s daughters. God has predestined you according to His plan and purpose. Destiny is in your DNA, it’s in your very breath. If after meeting you, a man doesn’t feel compelled to call you and inquire when he can be in your company again, he’s doesn’t get it. His lack of longing to be next to you is a sure sign that he’s not responding to your destiny. He doesn’t recognize you, because you’re not for him!■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“God Never Beg A Man for His Time”, written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.