When a man decides to go down on one knee and ask a woman to be his wife, it means she’s presented to him something that makes him decide to deny the pursuit of any other woman. He chooses as his wife the woman that satisfies something within him. This choice signals the world of this man’s intentions. A woman then has a choice to make. She can either accept the man’s offer of marriage, or she can deny it. If she denies it, in a perfect world they’d both go their separate ways, and part as friends. They’d realize that although one person is ready to make this commitment, the other is not in agreement; therefore, they can’t walk down that aisle together. But if both are in agreement, they can make something beautiful together. This is what many single women are hoping and praying will happen to them one day soon.
The most important decision two people in a relationship will make is deciding if they should get married to one another. But before this stage is even a consideration, the two of them should be walking in agreement with God, seeking Him continually for those all-important green lights. We can’t be naive about this, because many people have been blind-sighted. They thought they received an ‘all clear’, when actually they didn’t. Sometimes, single people will translate good chemistry between them and the new person as a sign. In this scenario, the conversations are good, the new guy is saying all the right things, and he checks off most of the qualities on the top tier on their list. Because a single woman may have been praying a long while to meet someone of this caliber, she makes certain assumptions. Then, when things go wrong and don’t work out, she questions God as though He bears the responsibility for her poor choice.
The fact that we want to see certain characteristics in the person we hope to marry is admirable. To list them out is a worthwhile endeavor, but if we take the time to think and process what we desire in a mate, there’s another list that should have come before that one. It’s the ‘To Do’ list of our responsibilities to our Heavenly Father. The reason that we can’t have one without the other can be found in James 2:26(NLT). It tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.”
Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is impossible to please God without faith, and from a practical standpoint, we know that faith is necessary for everything we do in life. Most of us know that we’re to have positive confessions and to get our thoughts aligned with the mind of Christ in order to walk in faith, but James 2:26 reminds us of one other crucial component. It tells us that for faith to be lively and active, it must be backed with the right actions.
Some will think that signing up at several dating sites is backing their faith with the right action. Others begin to go out more and involve themselves in various recreational activities, and they would say that these are actions geared towards backing their faith. We must consider that it’s very possible we need to dig a little deeper and travel more closely aligned with the Spirit, because the Spirit will take all the guesswork out of the equation. He will tell us exactly what we need to do to back our faith. James 1:5 tells us that God will not rebuke us for asking for His wisdom and guidance.
Jesus Christ warns us in Matthew 6:19-21(NLT), “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” We must think twice about looking for treasures where there are none, because if we’ve stored them on earth, the enemy will have a field day with them. Make sure your treasures are of the heavenly kind. These are those that can be stored there for safe keeping.
If our treasures are in heaven, our heart will be there too. This doesn’t diminish our pleasure but increases it. When our heart is set on pleasing God, He will reward us. Jesus Christ instructed us in Matthew 6:3-4(NLT), “But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” This is instruction from our Heavenly Father on how His flow of rewards is handled. We must be mindful that any ol’ thing we choose to do will not be rewarded. God’s stamp of approval must be on it in order for it to count. So let’s change up our strategy by placing it under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Then we can be confident that our desire for marriage does not override our commitment to make loving and honoring God our number one priority.■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Looking for Treasures Where There Are None” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.