1John 4:7-10(NLT)
“7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”
Real love comes from God, and we know we have it in our hearts when we love others not based on how we feel about them, but how God feels about them. Our Heavenly Father wants us to go into our significant relationships with the truth of His overwhelming love for everyone already firmly anchored in our hearts. God demonstrated His great love for us when He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to offer himself as a sacrifice for our sins. If God made decisions based on how we feel about Him, Jesus Christ would never have come, because most people do not love Heavenly Father the way He deserves. Even when we are at our worse and do not love Him, He still loves us unconditionally. He expects His children to remember this with every breath we take, so that His perfect love works in us and helps us to truly love others.
Dishonor
1Corinthians 13:5(NLT) says that love “does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Many of us have known about or witnessed in relationships where the couple doesn’t honor one another. They do not regard each other in the highest esteem. Instead, at times they speak to one another with belittling and profane terms and have a bad attitude towards the other person when things don’t go their way. You may have had a relationship like this yourself. It’s not fun. It a signal that the two people in the relationship do not value each other or themselves in a Godly way.
You matter, all day, every day. You matter not because you say so, but because God says so, and showed you this by giving Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for your sins. You matter to Him, and that is all that counts. In order for you to walk in faith, you must believe what God says about you. If you do, you will not invest in a relationship with someone that dishonors you by constantly putting you down rather than lifting you up. You shouldn’t want to be treated this way, and you most definitely should never treat anyone else that way. Love elevates, and that’s how you know it’s real.
Selfish Agenda
1Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love is not self-seeking. Real love does not have an agenda of selfishness. God’s purpose for marriage is that two people serve one another in a way that promotes loyalty, preserves unity, and stretches capacity. Marriage is going to stretch a person beyond the level of their perceived capability. If you miss this, you are in for a rollercoaster ride you won’t like. There are instances in a relationship where both individuals are giving equal levels of effort, time, and resources, but there are also times when there are varying levels of giving. There may be areas in the relationship where one partner is devoting 70 percent and the other 30 percent, and we need to be prepared for that.
The thing to know is that when God has put two individuals together, Jesus Christ is the head of their union, and it is their responsibility to keep him there. Even during times when it appears that one partner is not all in, prayer is the answer, not bitterness or resentment. Playing the blame game or being sour and in our feelings because we didn’t get from our partner what we expected isn’t the way love behaves. God is our sufficiency, so we shouldn’t make a habit of expecting another individual to complete us, because no human being can do that. Real love does not allow expectations or personal agendas to hinder the other person’s peace and contentment. You must stretch your faith in God that He will take care of you as you serve your spouse and always do what is in their best interest according to the Will of God.
Reciprocity
Reciprocity is a practice of mutual exchange for mutual benefit. This is the emotional and spiritual goal that most have as they consider marriage. It’s responding to one another in a rewarding way. We didn’t set the precedent for this, God did. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:38(NIV), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full–pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” When we pour into the person that God has sent for us, they will pour into us. This isn’t something that we need to push or shove along. God takes care of this and its where our faith must be.
The issue arises when we’re not with the person God has ordained for our lives. When this is the case, we might find ourselves giving and giving without receiving anything of significance in return. Real love always, always, always seeks God first, and real love allows HIM to direct our paths. This means that we don’t invest in men that God didn’t send because they are not yet equipped with the level of gratitude or the capacity to respond to us. Even if he’s a maybe, many of us will still make an ample investment and give too much of ourselves without a greenlight from Heavenly Father. We’ll see the rewards of our giving at some point down the road, but that man will not engage in reciprocity of our investment. He is the receiver of it but lacks what is needed to reciprocate.
Whatever the case may be, we can never allow what our partners do, and how they respond to us, to stop us from continuing to love with the heart of Jesus Christ. For those relationships that ended, we must handle things and walk away with God’s love in our hearts for that person. We must carry no trace of that relationship’s fallout into the next one. We must also understand that even in relationships with the man that God has sent, there will be disappointments and unfulfilled expectations. There will be dry spots, mountains to climb, and bumps along the way. In all these, we have got to trust the power of God’s love, because it is real love, and real love never fails or gives up. Be committed to let God’s love lead you every step of the way in your desire for marital partnership. Anchor yourself in His love, so that wherever He leads on the path of His blessings, you have the humility and wisdom to follow. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.
“Let Us Continue to Love”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.