One of my dear friends is 70 years old and admittedly, she’s stubborn, skeptical and cynical; in her mind, all for good reason. She says she loves God, but she’s never considered the reality of getting close to Him. Most of her faith practices are based on what she was taught as a child, and she’s never deviated from the script. Her parents were devoted members of their faith community, but they never talked about Jesus Christ in their home. So, when she grew up to have a family of her own, they never talked about Christ either. Her mother had been a dutiful wife that kept her mouth shut about her own sadness, but she grew to become very bitter about it. My friend carries this same bitterness. It has shown up in every aspect of her life, but she refuses to see it. She was married to her husband for almost thirty years. He passed away almost twenty years ago, and she has refused to consider getting close to God. She believes He allowed her to be left alone.

Many women feel this kind of resentment, and even if they’ve not verbalized it, some of them believe God has caused them to be alone, without the companionship of a good man in their lives. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” As people of faith who honor God, we shouldn’t pick and choose what parts of His Word we think are true and discount the other parts. All of God’s Word is true. It’s our understanding and comprehension of it that’s sometimes faulty, but make no mistake, God commands us to believe the promises He makes to us. He requires that we trust His Word and that we trust who He says He is.

Any relationship will require two individuals to mutually agree that getting to know each other is a worthwhile endeavor. Both have to be interested in one another, and they must be willing to share information and communicate with each other about their qualities, character, likes and dislikes. Getting to know each other is a beautiful process that is built on mutual respect and honor. We must love and honor God for who He is, because He loves and honors who we are. He doesn’t have to honor us, because He’s God! He’s our Creator, and He could wipeout every living person in less time than a blink of an eye. He could erase even the faintest memory of all life and make it appear as though none of us has ever been on this earth. He doesn’t do this because 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and love does not destroy. Love redeems, restores, and builds up.

God has never violated our free-will choices, and He doesn’t interfere in our lives without our invitation. He’s showing us that we’re His masterpieces, and He honors us. He respects the relationship He wants to have with every person. No less from us is required. We must honor God, and if we’re resenting Him because we think He’s not cooperating with our desires, that’s not honor. That’s wrong believing. It’s doubt, and doubt will take us further away from what we desire, not closer to it.   

Some of our doubt is passed down from those we cherished and loved. They did not mean to do it, but because they were not taught the truth of God’s Word, they too had doubt in their hearts and minds. There is no way to put a positive spin on doubt and fear. They cripple our faith, and the only remedy is to snuff them out. They must be eradicated so that faith and love can occupy the space that they took up. Some of us won’t get to a place of full surrender, because we’ve been a certain way so long, and we can’t imagine changing. It’s like with my friend, if I even hint that she would experience the joy of the Lord if she changed her attitude, she cuts me off or changes the subject before I can say anything further.

Proverbs 9:8-9(NLT) tells us, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.” The Word of God is more valuable than pearls. It’s the greatest treasure we can imagine, but not all will see His truth for the priceless treasure it is. Some will reject it, and it is useless to try to correct them. None of us should ever want to be like those who blatantly reject the light of God’s truth. Instead, we should desire to become wiser and to be sharpened by God’s Word. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” It’s time! We must put away immaturity. We’ve been holding on to things we should have let go years ago. This speaks to our refusal to grow beyond the thing that ties us to the past. We must recognize that it’s holding us back and keeping us from what God has for us.

Grudges, resentment, bitterness, and anger about things that happened years ago, these will keep us from capturing the blessings we desire. If you’ve got an attitude of doubt in our heart and mind, and you’ve thought that God is withholding the blessing of marriage from you, repent. None of us can afford to have this kind of fear laid to our charge. Recognize that doubt and fear come from satan. God blesses and increases His Word. He will not bless a lie, and when we allow doubt and fear to surround our hearts and minds, and we wrap our thoughts and feelings in it, we’re using the tools of darkness to build our tomorrows. There’s no reward in that. God will not punish us for doing this, He will correct us if we allow ourselves to be corrected. Draw close to God. Study His Word and let the love of God in Christ increase in your heart and mind. When you do this, you’ll get rid of doubt, and you’ll only draw the blessings that God wants to give you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Holding on When You Should Let It Go”,  written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.