“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)
Warren believed that being a parent was one of the greatest privileges in life. He had always wanted to be one, and when he was adopted at eight years old, his adopted dad set a very high mark. Warren wanted a biological child, but he knew he wanted to adopt children as well. When he started looking for a wife, he understood that she would have to love kids and want to adopt them as well. He had been dating on and off for ten years, and at 33, he decided to only look for a relationship with a woman that was serious about marriage. He met Kalonee at his best friend’s housewarming. They’ve been dating a little over three months, but he’s not sure she’s the one for him.
Kalonee is attractive and very driven, and Warren loves this about her, but he’s also noticing other qualities that don’t exactly convey her desire for a family. She says she wants children, but she’s what his aunt calls ‘boujee’, and spends a lot of money on clothes and shoes. Warren, on the other hand, has been saving his coins since his early twenties. He’s putting away money for his future family because he doesn’t want his kids to struggle the way he did as a child. Kalonee is a very nice, well-mannered woman, but he’s suspicious that she may be saying things only because she thinks it’s what he wants to hear.
Dating a good man and having it ultimately lead to marriage is on the mind of many single women, and they never dreamed it would be so challenging. “Good men are hard to find” is a complaint echoed loud and clear from all over the land. Attractive, intelligent, witty, soulful, loyal, gainfully employed and most importantly a man that loves God; this is what we want and believe we deserve. Sometimes the men we meet seem to have all these attributes, but underneath there’s some stuff going on that’s not pretty, and it’s very disappointing. So, when we meet someone that seems like the real deal, many of us try to be as careful as we can in order to hold on to the Kingdom treasure we may have found.
We can never overlook the profound wisdom of Jeremiah 29:11. It’s amazing how many people don’t know this verse or have never heard it. They don’t know that God has a good plan for their individual lives, and they try to force things to happen or take harmful risks. Every person has a responsibility to seek Heavenly Father so that they can know His Will and renew their minds to it. He tells us in Romans 12:2(NLT), “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” A man or woman shouldn’t feel the need to conform to someone else’s ambitions and desires just to keep them in their lives. We must let God transform us according to His Will and Plan. He holds our tomorrows, and we must change the way we think so that our faith in Him is where it needs to be.
Some of us will change to please the man but we won’t change in order to please God, and this is not the message we want to be sending. It will not yield the blessings we desire. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” When we do as God commands and change the way we think according to His Word, we will please Him, and He will give us the blessings that He’s promised.
Warren is a good man, and having a good man is what the Father wants for all His wonderful daughters. Kalonee is well aware that Warren is a treasure, and even though she does want children someday, she can’t imagine denying herself the things she’s worked hard to now enjoy. She hasn’t been honest with Warren and thinks he doesn’t realize her true feelings, but she’s wrong. People can pick up on what is in our hearts. We can’t hide it, and ultimately it will come out in some way or another.
It is so important for us to seek God, especially when it comes to this aspect of our lives. He knows the best person for us. We must be committed to release attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors that aren’t pleasing to God. If we’re obedient to do this and to ask Him to help us prepare to meet our treasure, He’ll help us to grow in His love. Then we’ll be everything we need to be for Him and for our future spouses. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Having A Good Man” written by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!