There are many single believers in Christ that have been searching a long time for something that will help them in their quest for marriage. It’s a worthwhile search, because Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:7(NLT), “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Our Heavenly Father has made it very clear to us that we must seek Him first, and we must seek Him diligently. And this diligence requires our persistence, but many Christian singles believe they’ve been very persistent in their prayers about marriage, and they are wondering when it is going to yield results.

When we’ve prayed for something a very long time and there isn’t the movement in our circumstances that we expect, people will sometimes tell us that our faith is the issue. They say we don’t have enough of it. Well, the Lord Jesus Christ tells us that all it takes is a mustard seed’s worth to move a mountain, so we can know definitively that he doesn’t have a problem with doling out all the faith we need. He has it in unlimited supply; therefore, most of us have enough faith to accomplish whatever it is that God desires us to do. So, when it comes to the faith we already have, God’s Word tells us that what’s very important to God is how this faith gets expressed.

To express something is to somehow take that which has unexposed potential and expose it. We live in an environment today where people are expressing a whole lot of emotions and sides of themselves, but some of this is better left unexposed. These expressions may have potential, but not the kind that benefits God’s purpose. As believers, we ought to be chiefly interested in the things in which God’s Kingdom gets the glory, and He tells us in Galatians 5:6 that what’s major in His book is that our faith gets expressed through His love.

Sometimes our definition of love and God’s love are out of sync. Our born-again reality means that we can love others and ourselves through Christ, but it is very possible that God wants to see us walking in His love more fully. Some of our relationships of the past ended in heartache. As uncomfortable as it can be, we need to examine how we could have handled things differently. Relationships don’t make it for lots of reasons. Sometimes it is because the person was not meant to journey with us any further, and sometimes it is because there was some aspect of God’s love that we hadn’t yet figured out how to demonstrate. If this is the case, if there are aspects of God’s love that are necessary for marriage and we haven’t yet put these yummies in our hearts, then this must be corrected through repentance and by renewing our minds.

1Corinthians 13:1-7(NLT) gives us God’s expectation for how love should operate. This passage tells us: 1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You and I may have love for someone, but if this love isn’t wrapped in God’s standard, and if we have not renewed our minds to it, 1Corinthians 13:3 tells us that we will not gain anything. 1John 4:8 affirms that God is love. It isn’t just what He does, it’s who He is. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, love must be who we are. God demonstrates for us that love is more than an emotion, it’s a commitment. It is action in the highest sense of the word. You and I are not in a position to dictate how love is defined or how it should look; God has already done this. Love is His standard, and because it is the glue that holds relationships together, God holds us responsible for demonstrating that we are committed to love someone with the love of Christ.

If we have the notion in our heads that love is based on feelings, we will be in and out of love all the time. We will leave a marriage based on whether or not we feel loved by the other person. We will hold them responsible for making us happy and not take responsibility for failing to put on the joy of the Lord in our own hearts. So, as single believers, we will have to move past allowing feelings to lead our hearts, instead we must let the Lord do this. Because in this most important aspect of our lives as it pertains to marriage, we must lean on God and not on our own understanding. Now is the time to make this a habit pattern so that we are anchored in the love of God, because His love must be the foundation upon which our future marriage will rest. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “God’s Love Is the Glue for Marriage” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.