You don’t have to settle for a dull or empty life just because you’re single. Sometimes, a simple change in perspective can make a big difference. Instead of focusing on a list of ‘must-haves’ for a potential partner, try creating a list of qualities and actions you can bring to a new relationship. For example, consider how you can offer support, open communication, kindness, respect, and a commitment to growth. As Philippians 2:4 (NLT) says, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” By focusing on what you can contribute, you’ll find that relationships can become more fulfilling and aligned with God’s purpose for your life.

God’s purpose intricately weaves through every detail of our lives. Even if we’re unaware, our desires and the fulfillment we find are full of His purpose, not only for us but for everyone we influence. Shifting your focus from what you want in a potential partner to what you can contribute to a relationship can open doors to deeper revelation. It reflects the generous, unselfish nature of Christ. As Ephesians 1:11 (NLT) states, “Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.” By inviting the Holy Spirit to guide you, God can provide wisdom and strategies to align you with His Will, bringing peace and contentment as you fulfill your purpose in His plan.

I recently spoke with a distinguished single gentleman who shared that he had just bought a new home for himself and his sixteen-year-old son. At 52, after a divorce and a period of being single, he’s open to the possibility of meeting his future wife. He expressed a frustration that many of us have heard before: “Too many women want more from a man but very few are willing to give.”

While this perspective may seem one-sided and may not fully recognize that a willingness to give is required from both partners, it’s important to reflect on whether selfishness is influencing our motivations for marriage. Ephesians 5:17 (NLT) instructs us, “Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” Understanding God’s requirements and how He desires us to fulfill His purpose is everything! It helps remove selfishness and personal agendas, allowing us to approach relationships with a heart aligned to His Will and a commitment to genuine partnership.

The instruction of Jesus Christ in Luke 6:38 (NLT) provides a fundamental principle for our relationships, emphasizing the importance of giving as a way to nurture and sustain a healthy partnership. Jesus says, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” This teaching highlights that our level of giving, when driven by a commitment to share the Good News and follow Christ’s example, directly influences what we receive in return. When we prioritize speaking life into a potential partner and value this opportunity higher than our desire for marriage, we build a foundation of blessings that will enrich our future relationships. This selfless approach not only aligns with God’s purpose but also prepares us to receive the full measure of what He has planned for us.

Clothing our desire for marriage with a commitment towards God and His purpose reflects the light of Christ. By shifting our focus from what we want to what we can give, we’re not just imitating Christ’s example—we’re paving the way for a marriage that delights our Heavenly Father. Prioritizing how we can uplift and support others, rather than just pursuing our personal desires, helps build a solid foundation for meaningful, fulfilling relationships. In opening ourselves to giving selflessly and loving God first, we position ourselves to receive His blessings in unexpected ways. Ultimately, it’s this kind of love and generosity that paves the way for true, lasting love and fulfillment in our relationships. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Full of God’s Purpose”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.