Proverbs 15:13(NLT) says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” It’s a pretty well-known fact that joy, contentment, and happiness can add tremendously to our lives. When we’re happy and content, those in the medical profession tell us that it can even improve our physical health. There’s a glow about us when we feel all is well with our worlds, and this is magnified exponentially when we’ve found that special one. When our significant relationships are going well, and things are progressing in a very pleasing way, we are in our happy zone like never before. We wear a smile as bright as the prettiest ornament on a Christmas tree. But when the ‘boo’ is not as pleasing as he once was, or he’s missing in action, that happy face turns upside down, and we forget about what it is to have a glad heart. We have to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.
When you are dating a man that isn’t yet your husband, and he hasn’t given you an indication that he wants to be, you must be careful about how you invest in this relationship. Contrary to what the world and society want people to think, a boyfriend is just that. He’s a male that is your friend. That “male-friend” status should not give him a suggestion or assumption that he can assume the rights of a husband, but not the responsibility. The only one that can make this distinction clear to him is you.
I attended an event with a friend at her request. The man she’s been dating on-and-off for years changed his mind at the last moment and would not accompany her. Many of us can relate to her disappointment. Often, she has envisioned him publicly demonstrating his commitment to her as they walk together arm in arm, but continually she is disappointed. Does he have someone else? This is the question so many of us deny and excuse away. We refuse to accept that we’re being deceived and perhaps used, and we continue to accept the man’s behavior.
As women, we know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and valued. We understand that when a man has good intentions towards a relationship with us, he will make himself available to spend quality time in our company. He’ll make us feel special and that we’re one of the most important people in his life. Most of us go out of our way to make the significant male-friend in our lives feel that way, why would we accept less than we’re willing and capable of giving? We do ourselves a great disservice by behaving this way, because here’s the reality; if we’ll accept crumbs, crumbs are all we will get.
It’s certainly plausible that a man that causes us to have a sad face and a broken heart more than he causes a happy face and joyful heart may be involved with someone else. Many women are in denial about this, and because they are closing their minds and hearts to the truth, there’s no opening for wisdom to get in. Most of us desire the opportunity to walk together with someone in a relationship that is blessed with the liberty of Christ, where there’s no mess and heavy baggage weighing it down. Well, how can we have this without the truth?
Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We can’t have a relationship where Jesus Christ is the head without knowing God’s truth. God tells us in Proverbs 4:5 to get wisdom and develop good judgment. Good judgment is honoring ourselves as God’s beloved daughters who deserve His best. It’s not putting our heads in the sand and denying the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to want someone that doesn’t truly honor who we are. We’re being lied to and manipulated, and that is not God’s Will for any of His daughters.
God’s Will for our lives is to give us a blessed future and an ever-expanding hope. He is full of mercy and grace, and He requires us to have faith in Him to present us with a man that will love us through the love of Christ. Some of us have been so bamboozled by counterfeits that we have forgotten what a good man is. Let’s go to God’s Word and be in prayer that Heavenly Father etches His Will upon our hearts and minds. We must not want less for ourselves than what He desires to give us. Wanting the best for your life is never about ego. It’s about trusting that the man God wants for you will inspire and uplift you, so that you can be all that God created you to be. If you’re confident you have the capacity and desire to do the same for him, don’t accept less. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Don’t Accept Less”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!