Who would break-up with someone over the holidays? It seems unusually harsh, but it does happen. The holiday season notoriously brings merry cheer, but it is also a time of reflection for many people. It’s when couples who are dating begin to examine their relationships more closely, and they often realize at this point they’re dating someone they can’t see a future with—someone they don’t want to introduce to their parents or other important people in their lives. The added stress of a relationship that’s not working proves too much to carry through the holidays. In their minds, it seems better to just get the breakup over and done with. It’s possible that although it may lessen the stress for one person, the other may be left to deal with hurt feelings during a time they thought they’d be the happiest of the year.
It’s a huge challenge to master, there’s no doubting that, but life has a way of throwing curve balls at us when we least expect it. A woman who’s on the receiving end of a breakup might begin to internalize the hurt in ways that make her fearful of loving again, and this, more than anything else, is what we want to avoid. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and anyone who doesn’t love doesn’t know God. So, we don’t want a breakup to cause us to build up barriers around our hearts, because this can potentially injure our fellowship with God. A person may not see it this way, but relationships, especially broken ones, teach us to be spiritually mature. They prepare us to partner well in the future. To this end, the goal of any broken relationship is to correct us, make us wiser, and expand our hearts so that we can love greater.
Jesus Christ is the head of our lives, and God is in total control, but sometimes we stop listening to Him. These are usually times we make a larger emotional investment in a man than we should. Heavenly Father doesn’t condemn or punish us when we do this. Instead, He corrects us. Let me state firsthand that it is a challenge to receive correction when your heart is broken. You just want the pain to stop, but we have to understand that the Holy Spirit is inside us, wanting to help us heal. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit’s occupation is to lead and guide us to the truth. In order for us to heal God’s way, we must know and accept the truth that the Spirit will lead us to, because only the truth will make us free from the pain.
You can’t heal through bitterness, or by using bitter actions or bitter words. Hurt makes us want to do very strange and vengeful things. Aggression, anger, and wanting to get revenge shows us parts of ourselves where God’s love has not been permitted to reign. It shows us the negativity that’s been hiding out in our souls. It comes out because our hurt gives it an opening. When wounded, some of us are compelled to lash out because it is a way for us to feel in control. It may make us feel in control in the moment, but actually the opposite is true. Lashing out demonstrates our fear. It gives the devil leverage to inflict more pain upon us.
The first rule of spiritually mature people is never overreact. Never, ever abdicate your faith and let someone steal your power. Never allow someone to take you out of Christ-character. Jesus Christ is the head of your life. He’s life itself! And the key to life according to Deuteronomy 30:20 is to love God by obeying Him and committing ourselves FIRMLY to Him.
In John 8:47, Jesus Christ tells us that anyone who belongs to God gladly listens to what He says. They humbly accept correction, seek direction, and desire to grow more in His love. This verse also says that if we don’t listen, we don’t belong to God. In John 10:27, Jesus Christ said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” We can never be so wrapped up in another individual that we can’t hear God. No one wants to go through a breakup over the holidays, but if it happens, don’t lose heart. Listen to God. Draw close to Him through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He’ll warm your heart with His love, and help you grow wise so that your future choices bring you lasting joy.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Dealing with A Breakup Over the Holidays”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.