“I’m thirty-two, and I’m the only one in my group of girlfriends that’s still single.” This statement, or something like it, is one many of us have heard from at least one of our single friends. Now more than ever, we’re being told that loneliness is an epidemic, and some have bought into this hook, line, and sinker. It has caused undue stress around being single and promoted the feeling that “all the good ones are taken.” It’s true that many single believers are in a kind of mourning for what they think they are missing. And it’s from this drought of faith and absence of optimism that their thoughts can begin to spiral downward. They may not realize it, but there’s a real cost to allowing themselves to camp out in that kind of emotional desert.

In His Word, God tells us that we have to change the way we think. Ephesians 4:23 says that we must be renewed in the spirit of our minds. The spirit of our minds is at the core, it’s where attitudes and feelings get their marching orders. It’s in this place—the deep place of our minds—that we have to change. It requires us to have the right kind of thoughts on repeat continuously. God wouldn’t tell us to do something we’re not capable of doing, so we can be confident that renewing our minds is not only something we can do, it’s something we must do, if changing our lives is the goal.

How many times have you heard the definition of insanity, that expecting different results from doing the same things is insane? I’ve heard it so much that the impact of it doesn’t really land any more. But that doesn’t make it any less true. We have to change the way we think. This is straight from the mouth of God, and there is no greater authority for truth than Him. In 1Corinthians 3:10, God tells us that He gives us the grace to be certified as a Master Builder. This is someone that has gone to the University of God’s Word and received a degree of excellence from Him. Everyone of us can earn this degree because of what Jesus Christ accomplished on earth. Christ finished the course, and he showed us how to get it done as well. Ephesians 1:3 declares that through Jesus Christ, you and I have received every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. So, we possess already the skill, tools, and building material to build a masterful life.

One of the things that many of us do is continually go back in our minds and hearts to the birthplace of disappointment. It’s the wall we bumped up against when we discovered that Mr. Right was actually Mr. Wrong, or that Miss Perfect for Me only looked the part and was far from the right fit for your life. After you’ve hit this wall a few times, you might begin to train your mind to skip the ‘wait and see’ phase and go straight to the ‘woes me.’ We do this so much that it becomes comfortable—it’s our go-to place, and it gives fear and doubt a cozy spot to hang. The thing that you and I have to come to grips with is that love doesn’t hang out where fear and doubt abide. Fear and doubt stink up the place and actually repel love instead of putting out the welcome mat for it.

Our inclination to think this or that is not going to build a steady platform on which a relationship can rest. We must have the mind of Christ. We must see ourselves as capable of loving like Christ, because we can, and this is where the confidence to share a life takes root. God commands us in Philippians 4:8 to live by HIS opinion of us. He tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. We are to think about the excellence that’s He’s woven throughout creation, for this is worthy of praise. Many people hear God’s overwhelming wisdom in this verse and think its too high a hurdle to jump. They instantly repel the yumminess He’s offering and go back to hiding in ‘woes me’, where they don’t have to lift their thoughts to meet faith on higher ground.

The thing about ‘woes me’ is that it alters your entire trajectory. It takes our minds out of functioning on the spiritual plain of goodness, where all our treasures are stored. God tells us to fix our thoughts on Him and His opinion of us because these are thoughts that create a landing strip for love to land. Are you doing this? Are you creating a space for love to land? If you’re not, now is a really good time to employ the excellent spiritual tools of God’s Word, the example of Christ, and prayer, and get to building. You’re not doing all the work alone. Heavenly Father is with you. He’ll do the heavy lifting if you’re willing to open your heart to Him. It is only through the Lord Jesus Christ that you can learn to build a life filled to overflowing with God’s love, and if you change the way you think, he’ll make sure you have the right person to share it with.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“Are You Creating A Space for Love to Land?”  written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.