Dating is a social norm in our modern times, but God doesn’t carve out a space for it in His Word. That’s because His commandment requires us to treat all our brothers and sisters with the love of Christ. Our Savior said in John 13:34-35(NLT), “34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Dating has turned into something that doesn’t hit this mark. It’s no longer a respectful courtship that leads to marrying the one you’ve been dating. It’s mostly viewed now as a way of trying on different partners until one of them sticks. Many of us come into relationships from the very beginning with this attitude and mindset. Dating and significant relationships are areas where people are doing whatever they want to do, regardless of the standards of Godliness our Heavenly Father teaches in His Word. We don’t recognize that as sisters and brothers of Christ, this is setting us back before we even get started.

We’re all familiar with the questions of getting to know someone, “What’s your favorite color?” “What are your short- and long-term goals?” “Do you see yourself getting married?” “Do you want kids—how many?” There is a long list of other questions like these. They signal where our heads and hearts truly are, and they draw a picture of what is most important to us. But how many women of God ask, “Do you know Jesus Christ?” or “Do you have a relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ?” Why aren’t these the first questions we ask a person, and why isn’t their walk with the Lord our principal interest?

Putting our desire for romance over and above our desire to preserve Godliness has become one of the most vicious and divisive weapons that the enemy is using against us and our desire for marriage. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” To seek the Kingdom of God above all else is to prioritize what God says is right. It’s to understand His requirement that we live holy, and then commit ourselves to live righteously and holy before Him. Even if we don’t meet the mark, we must still acknowledge that holiness is right, but most of us don’t do this. We think that God will bless anything and everything. We refuse to allow Him to lead in this area of our lives, and because we don’t, the devil robs us of the opportunity to marry. And not only this, the enemy hits his target by destroying the creation of a family that will raise their children to know and honor God.

Our Heavenly Father commands us in 2Corinthians 6:14 (NLT), “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” Romance is not God’s first priority for single women, Godliness is. The love of God in Christ must be completely anchored in our hearts so that we have the discernment to recognize who is of God and who isn’t. If a man is pursuing you more than he is pursuing God, as a woman that wants what the Lord has for you, you must question this. Your commitment to God should be solid, to the point that nothing matters more to you than your relationship with Him.

1John 4:8 (NLT) says “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” This is our plumb line for discerning what is right for us or what could potentially interrupt and injure our spiritual walk in Christ. If someone has no interest or intention in knowing God through Jesus Christ, they’re not going to be able to love us the way God wants us to be loved. It’s about being obedient to what He says in His Word, and if we’re not, dating can end up being a trap that ensnares our lives for a very long time. Recognize what a blessing it is to partner with a man that is pursuing God with his whole heart. When someone like this pursues you, seek to preserve and honor his walk with God as much as you do your own. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Are They Pursuing God Harder Than They’re Pursuing You?”, written by KLizzie, edited by Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.