A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me that when a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow. Her statement places an incredible amount of responsibility on the man, but still, I remember asking myself how in the world did she come to this realization. She was speaking from personal experience, and as I continued to reflect on her statement, I wondered what circumstances she experienced to ultimately have this kind of love and peace in her relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few ups and downs in my own significant relationships that I realized how true her statement is.
Truly loving
Most women of God that have been praying to cross paths with their future husbands have heard Ephesians 5:25(NLT) and have placed on their checklist of expectations. In this verse, God commands, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This is God’s standard regarding the caliber of love a man should have for his wife. Fast forwarding into our modern times, we see something very different from what God expects playing out.
It isn’t uncommon in today’s environment to see a woman putting all her heart into her significant relationship, but the man’s commitment and support doesn’t equal hers. She makes excuses for him, and she keeps telling herself and hoping that he’ll one day come around, but in many cases this doesn’t happen. It could be that he doesn’t understand God’s requirement. A person cannot rise above what they don’t know, so maybe this man has never had an up-close and personal visual of a truly loving relationship between a man and a woman, and he hasn’t yet learned to give of himself. It could be that he doesn’t have a big enough reservoir within himself to accommodate the love he should have for the significant woman in his life.
The bottom line is that when it comes to good love, the kind that God expects that men will extend to His daughters, the man must have a will to love the woman. This is what I believe my friend was conveying. Truly loving a person requires more than affection, it requires a depth that is reached when their destinies meet.
When God is in it
The psalmist said in Psalm 73:24(NLT), “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.” Only God can set our destinies, and all our destinies are in Christ. Ephesians 1:3-6(NIV) tells us this. It states, “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
Destiny means that God is in it, and only He can lead us to it. Ephesians 1:3 tells us to celebrate God. He has lavished us with every spiritual blessing because of our union with Christ. He chose us! He made up His mind about who we should be and destined us to perfectly embody the blueprint of Christ. Our very lives are meant to be a celebration of God’s brilliance, walking hand in hand with Him every step of the way. His love for His Son is the same love He has for us, and His vision for us unfolds as we surrender everything to Him by faith.
We shouldn’t allow anything or anyone to deter us from the vision God holds for us, but often we do, and this is the place where peace and tranquility are interrupted. It’s the place where we are often tricked into thinking that we have something of substance, when in truth, we are accepting something far less than our privilege.
Sometimes we meet men that aren’t quite there in the love department. They haven’t yet learned to give quality love, because they haven’t received it, or they haven’t allowed God’s love into their hearts. If destiny isn’t involved, and we invest our time and energy into a relationship with this person, it can be disastrous. However, when God is in it, God can work through us. As women who celebrate Him and His love, we should be committed to walk in Christ. Our obedience to God reveals when and if we are destined to be the missing piece in the man’s life. If God says so and this is our destiny, we must be ever so careful to love and give like Christ, and to be the best ambassador for our Lord and Savior that we can be.
Being true to our destiny in Christ will create a synchronicity and balance to our relationships. Loving God with all that we are yields peace in our relationships, without loving Him in the way He requires, we are lost and have no hope. To strive for a healthy relationship that leads to a healthy marriage is to be in harmony with God’s plan from start to finish. When this is our posture, the right man can’t help but to bring peace, and it will be a perfect and destined match for the peace of God that is already in our hearts. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
“A Heart of Harmony”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!