Colossians 2:7(NLT)
“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.  Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”

My conversation with one of my friends didn’t sit too well with her. She was saying how she’d kept a list in her Bible of what to do and what not to do when she’s in a relationship. The list included, “1-date for at least a year and never under that’, 2-spend a lot of quality time together, 3-never commit to the person until you know he’s the one.” Those were just a few on her long list. These are very reasonable guidelines, but when I asked, “where’s God on this list?” it didn’t sit right with her. She said she believed that God wanted her to be specific about what she wants and that she shouldn’t deviate. It is very possible that this belief has kept her single for many years.

As women, it’s good to have a list that keeps us fueled in faith, but we can never afford to forget that God is in control, and He knows exactly what we need. Our lists can be guides, but they can and should change as we mature spiritually. Of course, we should desire security and trust in our relationships. We want to know that the significant person in our lives will love and honor us and will never do anything to hurt us. It’s not uncommon that we’ll look for certain assurances on this, that we’ll want the man to demonstrate that he appreciates the relationship and appreciates what we bring to the table. Once we have those assurances, we feel confident to move forward.

Most of us never consider the reality that we can develop a false sense of security and trust, and that this may cause us to let our guards down much too soon. Security and loyalty are so very important, and most of us establish a picture in our minds of what it looks like when a man is truly committed and when he’s not. As a frame of reference, we use what we have either seen or experienced in relationships when trust and fidelity is broken. It usually ends in devastation and heartbreak, and this is never desirable. So, we do our best to steer clear, but without God’s wisdom, doing our best falls short.

God doesn’t want any of His children to be unhappy. John 3:16 tells us that He loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for our sins. It was us who should have been on that cross, but our beloved Savior took our place. He redeemed us from the curse of sin and darkness, and it is only because of what God has done through Jesus Christ that we have the liberty we enjoy today.

In Colossians 2:7, our Heavenly Father has set the groundwork and road map for successful Christian living. To be a successful believer is to claim and have the victory of Jesus Christ in every area of our lives, and this includes marriage. God’s requirement is that we walk by faith, and the way to achieve this is to let our roots grow down into Christ so that our lives are built on him, and not on any other person. Our roots are the parts of us that are not visible to the physical eyes. It’s the mind, heart, and soul, the places where faith takes hold. Heavenly Father commands that faith in Him must be firmly planted in the truth of His Word, but many of us have not planted enough of His Word in our lives to let our faith bloom.

We want assurances that our potential spouses are loyal and committed, but these assurances vary for each of us and they are based on what we think will make us secure, but often they don’t include God’s wisdom and counsel. The truth that you and I must understand is that we’re not the ones to set the requirements of trust and security. God has done this. In Colossians 2:7, He makes it clear that before we look for these qualities in another individual, they must first be established in us.

1Corinthians 4:2(AMP) states, “In this case, moreover, it is required [as essential and demanded] of stewards that one be found faithful and trustworthy.” You and I are stewards of God’s blessings. A steward is an overseer or the person who manages things. None of us own anything, because everything belongs to God, but He places the care of His bounty in our hands when we show ourselves faithful and trustworthy. This means we must exhibit a level of spiritual maturity that pleases God and demonstrates our ability to handle the responsibility of being a good steward.

We want the significant person in our lives to have our backs and to show us that he appreciates the relationship; that he will love us as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). It would be an utter offense to attempt to give God any less. Our Heavenly Father is worthy of all praise, glory, and honor. He must forever and always be our first priority, and this is non-negotiable. He expects the highest level of commitment and loyalty from us, and He has made it possible through Jesus Christ for us to answer this call.

Our Heavenly Father desires that our hearts are filled with faith so that we are rooted and grounded in His love more than anything else. We must be committed to grow spiritually in Christ. This kind of commitment proves that we have reached a level of maturity to always put God first, and to be loyal and faithful according to His standard. So, we must understand that while trust and security in a relationship are not automatic, they are most certainly mirrored back to us when we reach and maintain this benchmark in our relationship with God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Amplified Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.

“Security and Trust Are Not Automatic”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!