Diane became very offended when her friend, Lee, commented on the fact that Diane never gives anything away for free. It’s not as if Diane is short for cash. She earns six figures, boasts about the fact that she can get just about anything she wants, including the new luxury vehicle she leases every two years, and she lives very comfortably. She and her girlfriends get together occasionally to catch up, and to talk about the woes of being single and successful. It was on such an occasion that Lee made the comment, and it had offended Diane so much that things became contentious and she left the restaurant abruptly. She wanted to chalk it up to Lee just being jealous, but the truth is that it wasn’t the first time someone had commented on her selfishness and lack of generosity. Diane actually came close to getting married a couple of years ago, but her ex-boyfriend had complained on more than one occasion that she was just too selfish. She refused to change, and finally he told her that he didn’t want a marriage like that.

Generosity is more than just a nice quality to have, it is a state of one’s heart. Generosity and kindness go hand in hand, and kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Actions that are sprung from these two are an indication that a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ is walking in the Spirit and yielding to his promptings. But when our hearts are hardened, selfishness is the culprit. None of us are selfish all the time and all of us are selfish some of the time, but as those representing Christ, we must check ourselves continually and become conscious of selfish behavior. We must repent of it and never allow it to rule our hearts.

God instructs us in Philippians 2:3-5(NLT) “3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” We must be so careful to avoid being arrogant and selfish like those who behave badly and do not live in Christ. There should be a distinct difference between the child of light and those who have not yet come into it. We should demonstrate kindness to everyone because kindness and grace is what God has shown us through His beloved Son, Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father has reasons for everything He tells us to do, and one of the reasons He tells us to be generous and kind is because He’s setting us up for a blessing. When we are generous and kind, it has to come back to us. Jesus Christ teaches us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Selfishness, on the other hand, will yield the exact opposite of what we want and expect.

There are plenty of folks that are wealthy and selfish, and they do not know the Lord Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins. From the outside looking in, their pockets look to be getting fatter, but the reality is that this is only the outside we see. If we had a closer look at the inside, we would see darkness, disharmony, and corruption on a very wicked level. This is not who Heavenly Father created us to be. He commands us to imitate His nature and to be like Christ. Living through Jesus Christ and following his example is the key to pleasing God and receiving all that He has in store for us.

Diane didn’t consider herself a selfish person. Even though she rarely shared with others, and always expected to receive something in return for any courtesy she extended, she loves her family dearly, and dotes on her nieces and nephews. The blocker that keeps her separated from the blessings she desires most is an unrepenting heart and mind. Selfishness is corrosive to one’s life because it is a way of thinking that is the exact opposite of the way God had told us to think and behave. From a mental perspective, a selfish person handles situations by always making choices that serve their self-interest primarily. It’s when a person judges most, if not all, situations by “what is going to be better for me?” and this choice is made regardless of what is best for everyone. This is not the way of Christ.

There’s a saying that what we focus on we become. Selfishness prompts us to focus on that part of our hearts that is not connected to the love of Christ. And because we focus on self, selfishness grows. Our continued focus on ourselves might cause us to increase in materiality and wealth, but as we feed those selfish motivations, we’re starving our souls. So, a selfish person might increase monetarily, but not in the way that causes them to love others deeply through the love of Jesus Christ. God does not give us a pass for this kind of behavior. The clock will run out on selfishness because it causes so much misery for the person that’s clinging to that way of thinking and behaving.

Selfishness is learned behavior and is sometimes rooted in a survivalist mentality that helped to preserve some of those who came before us. Perhaps they were not educated in the reality of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and that through him, God has rescued and delivered us from darkness. We don’t belong to ourselves, we belong to God, and He purchased us by offering His Son as a sacrifice for our sins. We don’t have to use selfishness as a self-preservation tactic because God is not pleased with this. It’s an offense to His love. He, and He alone, is our preservation! He’s our all in all. If we have selfish tendencies, we need to become careful observers of ourselves so we can get this out of our hearts.

A selfish way of responding to situations and relationships can be so entrenched that we make those choices without thought. We have to change this, even if it requires us to pause and question our motivations before every decision we make. The mindset of what is best for the “WE” is part of the mind of Christ. 1Corinithians 10:24(NLT) tells us, “Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.” God instructs us to have this mind, and to consult and lean on Him regarding every detail of our lives, confidently knowing that He is the Source of all our blessings. When we renew our minds to the generosity and kindness of Christ, we will please God and this must be the great desire of all His children.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Selfishness Will Cause Misery” written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!