“Men don’t notice me, and I don’t know what to do to change that.”
When we’re frequently in the company of more than a few men that are believers, and none of them seem to notice us, it can really do a number on our self-esteem. You wonder if there’s something you’re doing that is counterproductive to your goal of meeting Mr. Right. I’ve heard this concern from single women more than a few times, and it makes you want to do something to wake up certain men and say, “What’s wrong with you?!!!” All these amazing women that are beautiful inside and out are out there, and single men are like, “I’m waiting to get myself together financially first before I seriously date.” Seriously! What about what God says, does that count at all in their calculation, or is this ‘financial stability’ thing just an excuse.
If we’re keeping it one hundred, many of these men could have been more financially secure years ago, but they splurged on stuff like sneakers, clothes, or some other non-essential things, and didn’t use their money wisely. Do you think if they lacked the discipline a year ago that they’ve changed their game up a whole lot now? Having money in the bank is a really good thing, and we should all be striving to save and be more financially disciplined, but not to the point where money is governing our decision-making process rather than the wisdom of God’s Word.
A man’s responsibility is to be a provider, there is no doubt about this, but his ability to do so is an empowerment from God. It isn’t based on a man’s idea of what he needs. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 that Heavenly Father knows what we need even before we ask. So, a man must depend solely on Heavenly Father as his Source, because this is the posture that pleases God. The man should understand that his motivation and commitment to care for those God has entrusted to him is what catapults him into God’s favor.
The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9(NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” This is a jewel for single people, but how can a single woman convince a single man that a serious and monogamous relationship is a precious blessing and not a detriment or a squash on his dreams of financial security? What can she do to make him see her as an asset and not a liability? Is there anything she can do to make him choose her as his wife for life?
Those are questions for the ages and many women have pondered them. But the answer is that a single woman shouldn’t think she has to try and convince a man of her worth. Her responsibility is to be convinced of it herself. How does this happen? How do we become grounded in the reality of our worth? The answer to this question requires us to know the Source of our worth, because He is the One who gives us value.
Before God rescued us from eternal darkness, Ephesians 2:1 tells us that we were dead in trespasses and sins against Him. Nothing dead has any value, but because of God’s amazing grace, He sent His Son to die so that he would save the world. God sent Christ to redeem us, and this redemption gave us our value because Jesus Christ gave us new life!
If we miss the extremely important reality of what Jesus Christ accomplished for us and where we were before he saved us, then something within us is still in the dark. God gave us value, and without our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, we have no identity and no idea of our value. If we are not basking in the joy of what God has done for us, our light is not on. If the light is not on, the love of God is not powerfully radiating from our being, and we are not the magnet we could and should be. We must truly understand the depth of God’s love for us and the great sacrifice our Lord and Savior made for us all.
1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Spirit of the Living God dwells within us, and he is the One that causes us to live a successful life as a follower of Christ. Living through Christ is our source of power. Heavenly Father makes this clear to us in 1Corinthians 4:20, which tells us that His Kingdom is not just a lot of talk, it is living with His power!
The Holy Spirit will do what we allow him to do. If we are not surrendering to his guidance and letting him teach us how to be our best for God’s Kingdom, then we are missing the mark. You and I, and everyone that has ever existed, live from the inside out. This means that the real action of who we are, what we represent, and what we can do illuminates from within. Blessings land in our lives and remain as a result of what is in our hearts and minds, so our aim should always be to let the light of Christ shine from within as we remain continually infused with God’s Word.
Getting ourselves pampered and pretty has its place, but it will never be enough to catapult us to next level of blessings and spiritual growth. God’s love in Christ is the glue. It causes us to cross paths with our destiny partners and keeps the relationship unified. Without God’s love in Christ and the gratitude we should have for what He’s done for us, you and I don’t have anything to draw out our blessings. We will not be able to hold things together. So, as a woman of God, of course you know that along with yours, there are lots of pretty faces out there, but a pretty face will not move a man to change his mind about marriage. You must be blissfully thankful to God, and you must be confident in your Christ identity. When you are, the transformative power of His love that is operating in your life will ensure that the right man recognizes you as the right woman for him. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Choose Me, Please”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.