One of the young women that I counsel has finished college and is ready to get married. She’s bright, intelligent, attractive and loves the Lord. But often she feels like she’s not doing enough with her life to please God. She says this because of her unfulfilled desire to meet the Godly man that will be her husband. She’s fully aware that just because a man is a believer and loves the Lord, this doesn’t mean that he’s the right one. Like me, she knows women in her family and community that have believed this and leaped into a relationship with a saved man, thinking there was no chance for error. They were wrong. So, she wants to meet the man that God has planned for her destiny, but there’s also a part of her that questions if it will truly ever happen.
God has given us this innate desire to partner for a reason. The union of marriage has been a part of His plan from the beginning. It teaches us many lessons that aid our relationship with Him. So, we should never feel indifferent to our desires to be married. It is a perfectly natural desire, and our Heavenly Father will take care of it, just as He does every other aspect of our existence. The thing we must be careful about is the tendency to want to rush things. Many single sisters feel a void in their lives because they haven’t yet partnered. When this happens, feelings of loneliness or sadness creep in as well. This can cause a sense of urgency, and many of us become desperate.
Desperation hinders our desires because it tells a lie about God’s willingness and ability to bless His beloved children. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 that our Heavenly Father knows what we have need of before we ask. You and I don’t get to define our needs for God, nor can we dictate to Him how He should fulfill our needs. 2Corinthians 3:5(NKJV), tells us, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,” He’s our sufficiency. Everything we need flows from Him.
When we’re desperate, we tend to get in our own way. We don’t always know what to do with the void we feel, so we try to fill it ourselves. Doing this can harm our relationship with God, because He has told us that our lives don’t belong to us; they belong to Him. He commanded us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies to Him as a living sacrifice that is holy and acceptable to Him. This is the least we can do for all He has done for us.
To get out of our own way is to put Jesus Christ totally and completely in the driver’s seat. He said in Matthew 16:25-26 (MSG), “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” We must have a track record of yielding to the Spirit when we feel emotionally taxed or out of whack, so that when we’re married, we won’t lash out at our spouses, or use our emotions as a way of punishing him. Instead, we will constantly go back to God every time and allow Him to lead and guide us through those tough times through His Spirit.
How many times have I rushed my life just to get somewhere quick and in a hurry? How many times have I wanted things to happen in a hurry just to satisfy my own desires? I think this happens to a lot of single Christian women – particularly when it pertains to meeting someone and wanting to get married. We want the man to show up in our lives when we think we’re ready. 1Corinthians 7:17(MSG) instructs, “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.”
When the single woman realizes this, she will find that she doesn’t have to rush through life or figure things out on her own timing. God wants the absolute best for all of us. He wants the single Christian to have the love of their lives. But even more so, He has given us the roadmap on how to get there. Get out of your own way and allow the counsel and guidance of God to lead the way in your life. He will take care of your needs and His timing is always perfectly on time.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Get Out of Your Own Way” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.