A Marriage Ultimatum without A Foundation

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There are very few more important treasures in life than wisdom and spiritual maturity. Margarite found this out the hard way. I had known her for almost ten years before she married her long-time love at 58 years old. She had gotten serious about her walk in the Lord and gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, either they’d get married or she would end their relationship. He obliged her marriage proposal but did so reluctantly. They had never lived together under one roof, and he, a few years younger than she, had been a bachelor all his adult life. Margarite, like many of us, grew up in the church. She was no stranger to the biblical truths and standards surrounding Godliness, but her new husband never truly wanted a wife and had never desired a closer walk with God. When they married, to say that spiritual warfare was unleashed is putting it mildly.

To many of us looking from the outside, it seems that Margarite was trying to do the right thing for her life and spiritual walk. We might question why things didn’t go according to plan. One of the most basic lessons that God teaches us from the very beginning of the scriptures is that mistakes are costly. The enemy uses them to steal our focus away from our relationship with God, and he also uses them to interrupt our destinies and intercept the plans God has for us. The very best practice in a life lived well is to try avoiding mistakes whenever possible. Sure, we all make them because we’re not perfect, but knowing this should never deter or impede our attempts to steer clear of situations and circumstances that hinder our lives.

Building a landing strip
I love what the Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NKJV). He said, “According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it.” The term ‘master builder’ is rich! It suggests to us that not only is our action and effort required in order to build a foundation, but we have been extended a grace from our Heavenly Father to be masterful at this endeavor. We’re laying a foundation upon the one that Jesus Christ laid. This Christ-foundation is the one we are required by God to build our lives on. If we build on the foundation Christ laid, our lives will be strong. They will be strong enough to support those we love, and those we love can then build upon the foundation we’ve laid as well. This carries forward God’s plan and continues the legacy of His love.

Paul also warns us to be careful how we go about building. Being masterful at anything requires us to have a good blueprint, expert tools and materials, the good sense to use them, and most importantly, a desire to please the Creator of all. Everything we attempt in life must have these instruments, or else, we’ll waste our resources and our very limited time on this earth.

The life we’re building must have a foundation sturdy and strong enough to be a landing strip. This landing strip is the platform on which the blessings we seek can land. If the foundation isn’t strong, if the blueprint we’re using isn’t God’s Word, the blessing will fall through the cracks. This is what happened in Margarite’s case. She had heard plenty of teaching on prosperity and abundance, and not nearly enough on the requirements and work of faith.

Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 that we must seek the Kingdom of God first! This does not mean after we’ve sought our own agendas, or after we’ve tried everything else. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the LORD with all our hearts, and we are not to lean on our own understanding. This means we’re not to decide that just because a thing looks right, it is right. We must ask the Father for His guidance and direction. Then we must wait until He makes it clear to us. We don’t jump in with our own two cents and take the reins. We are to do as Proverbs 3:6 tells us and acknowledge GOD and seek HIS Will, having every confidence that He will direct our paths.

We cannot be free by believing a lie
If we want a landing strip strong enough to hold the heft of what God will give us, we cannot build it using a lie. Nothing built on a lie will stand. We can’t be motivated out of a desire to please ourselves or to please the flesh, and then say we’re doing it to please God. We can’t use Godliness as a way to guilt someone into going along with our plans. God is our sufficiency. He takes care of our needs. As women of standard, we ought to be carrying ourselves in such a way that our walk is a magnet. We should not have to coax someone to do right by us.

Our lives belong to God! They do not belong to us. HE directs our paths. If He has ordained a person to be a significant part of our destinies, this person will view being with us as a great privilege, not a chore they reluctantly approach. Proverbs 18:22(NLT) says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” A lot of folks have added and subtracted to the meaning and context of this piece of wise counsel, but like all of God’s Word, it doesn’t need anything added or subtracted.

Proverbs 18:22 is the air traffic controller for anyone’s desire to partner in marriage. It’s a treasure and measure of a person’s commitment to stand on the strong foundation of God’s Word. A man who finds is a man who seeks. Any wise woman understands that if a man is not seeking a treasure, he probably won’t recognize one when he sees it. Heavenly Father doesn’t want our pleasure to be any less, He wants to multiply it. He does this through our commitment to pray continually, study His Word, and grow closer to Him. This is life’s true treasure, and if our heart’s motivation is anchored in this, the arrival of our blessings will always be right on time. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Marriage Ultimatum without A Foundation” written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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