Recently a young Christian woman asked me if I thought getting married at a young age was a wise move. This was a question that was very familiar to my life’s experience. I was reared in a family of very strong women, and they had seen their fair share of ups and downs in relationships. They were not against marrying by any stretch of the imagination. Some were more sold-out for it than others, but their advice to me and the other young women in my family was to get our education first, and marriage will come later. Education meant independence to them, and independence for their generation was a gift not taken lightly. If a woman had a strong mind and will, in their estimation, she could make her own way. She could determine her own direction in life, and not have to ask anyone’s permission to pursue it. In their minds, this was a supreme treasure, and they wanted us to have it firmly in our grasp before we pursued anything else.
It is very true that there are some spiritual lessons that must be firmly under our belts before we even think about being prepared to partner in marriage. For a single person whose heart is eager, this is sometimes a difficult truth to accept. We all think we’re ready to steward the blessing we’ve been praying to receive, but if this were true, we would have received it already. People mean the most to God. He’s not in the business of helping us to be a hindrance to others, and if we’re looking to partner without the spiritual maturity to handle it, that is exactly what we will be; we would be a hindrance to the person we say we love. We’d run the risk of negatively impacting their walk in Christ. That’s a price none of us should ever want to have to pay.
Ephesians 5:17(ESV) says, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” This is always a concern for parents, that their children will do something foolish. The Old Testament Book of Job tells us that Job offered sacrifices to God continually. He knew that his kids were wild, rambunctious, and impetuous. They had a tendency to act without thinking through the consequences. Because of this, Job offered many sacrifices to God, thinking that this would cover his children and keep them from suffering the results of their bad behavior.
Those that are wise understand how easy it is to make a mistake in life, because it can take us a very long time to undo the damage of a mistake; and some of us never quite get over it. Heavenly Father wants to keep us from making mistakes more than anyone else. He wants to protect us. This is why He warns us in Ephesians 5:17 not to be unwise, but instead, we need to understand what He requires of us and align ourselves with His Will.
God tells us in Romans 12:2(ESV), “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We must renew our minds to God’s Word, so that we are firmly anchored in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Often, we seek to join ourselves with another before we get to know Christ. We must be clear that partnering will bring all kinds of negative baggage to the surface, and many of us are not spiritually strong enough in Christ to deal with our own stuff. We end up unleashing it on the person closest to us, and ultimately harming their relationship with God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. We are not to make life’s decisions without finding out what He wants us to do. From the rooter to the tooter, from the largest to the smallest, we must acknowledge God in ALL our ways, every last one of them. When we do this, He will direct our paths.
You and I can’t do this marriage thing on our own. We can’t do anything on our own. God created us in such a way that every part of us is to be mixed with Him. It’s not about being perfect, because none of us are. It very definitely is about laying bare before Heavenly Father and giving Him invitation to do a work on the inside of us, because only He can get us ready for marriage. It doesn’t matter how old we are, if we humble ourselves before God, surrender to the Spirit and be patient as He works within, we are seeking God’s Will. And when we do this, He will not only tell us when to marry, but who to marry as well.■
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
“Is It Wise to Marry Young?” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.