As a young woman, getting her feet wet with dating, my family matriarchs and spiritual mentors reminded me often about the scripture in 2Corinthians 6:14(NLT). It straightforwardly tells us, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers.” I loved the Lord, but I didn’t understand what was so bad about dating someone whose faith wasn’t strong or who may not have cultivated a relationship with God. I had been seriously schooled on the tendency of some men to put their physical desires before all else, and I believed myself skillfully able to put that in check. So, I just couldn’t understand why I had to worry about ‘how saved’ a man was. My faith was strong enough for the both of us, I thought, and after he witnessed my tighter than tight walk with the Lord, eventually I’d rub off on him, and we’d be the quintessential Christian couple in no time.

Yep, that’s what I thought back then. So, I went on with my bad self and expected the Lord to play along as I dabbled with dating here and there. Then I met someone that I really began to care a great deal about. Things went horribly wrong. Like many of us, during this time in my life, I had my share of heartbreaks and tears, and to say that I made mistakes would be an understatement. But with significant relationships, what I learned very early on is that if the Lord Jesus Christ isn’t the central focus, it will be incredibly challenging for the relationship to endure. And more importantly, if our Redeemer isn’t the focus, there’s a huge risk that we might not fulfill our commitment to God.

Women of faith that are praying for that most important introduction must understand three essential truths. The first is that, yes, it is very possible for the Lord to work through someone that may believe in the Lord Jesus, but this person perhaps hasn’t yet made what we might consider a fully-persuaded commitment. The second critical truth is that you and I are not in a position to know this UNLESS the Lord reveals it. We have to hear it from Him, and we must be confident we know His voice.

1 John 4:16(NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” Sisters, this verse is so significant to our faith, and faith in operation is key to being in the right place at the right time when God makes the presentation. We must know how much God loves us, and if there’s a notion bandying about somewhere in a sister’s mind that God is withholding the blessing of marriage, then she’s not quite there yet. Her faith requires a bit more tightening up, because God does not withhold blessings.

We must put our trust in God’s love. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:11(NLT), “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need. He knows how to bless us, but we can’t skimp on our responsibility to have faith in His love.

1 John 4:16 also tells us that God is love. He loves everyone, but everyone does not love Him, and therefore, everyone doesn’t live in love. We shouldn’t want to partner with a person in whom love does not live. We must open our eyes to this truth. A man can be a seemingly terrific person and still be full of the devil. Another lesson that I learned very early on is that capacity is an extremely important word, because in truth, Sisters, not all men have it. Some men are just not going to be able to meet you at a space and place of God’s love.

The third and most important truth is to recognize that our faith must be backed by the love of God. It isn’t enough to say we love Him; faith requires we back it up, and we can’t do this if we are not willing to allow Heavenly Father to guide us in this very important aspect of our lives. 2Corinthians 13:5 tells us to examine ourselves to see if our faith is genuine. This begs us to ask ourselves whether we’d actually marry someone that God didn’t tell us to marry. If you’ve never thought about your answer to this question, now is the perfect time to start.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“3 Essential Truths for Single Women”, written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.